There are a great number of things to notice upon first slipping my toes into the warm sand of summer. It is a bit cliché, one of the really good ones, but I wiggle my toes in the sand anyway. I have always been a sucker for a good cliché and my feet finally being free in the sand is a perfect example. I would love to say the warmth and the happiness was a constant during my excursion but it was not. While people watching at the beach there are too many things to take note of and, my metaphorical notepad at the ready, I began to sift my way through the wreckage of modern society.
Two things. ..
First, if you can see us, we can see you. I am not entirely certain why men simply do not feel this is the case but it is. If you feel the need to hang your tongue out and drool while gawking at a girl who anyone with a brain stem would accurately label ‘jail bait’ then she can also see you. I know, I know this seems foolish but there is a point somewhere in here. Ah, my point, she can see you and she thinks you look as stupid as she looks appealing.
So, take a personal note, while people watching at the beach, to only glance and/or admire with appropriate facial expressions for a very minimal amount of time. This will keep you from looking as stupid as I am sure you are and will also keep her muscle ridden hunk of a seventeen year old from kicking your perverted ass. Oh, not only can she see you but I can see you too and that speedo is not appealing. But I thank you for being the next character to be killed off in my next novel. You will be so easy to write and you require no back story. Thanks.
Second, I must choose to label this thought, “what were you thinking”. I understand, as a mother and a woman that extra pounds accumulate without our willing them to do so. In fact, I firmly believe these pounds conspire against us in an attempt to take over our bodies and get us to fund this fast food nation. But…there is a but…because this could not be an accurate beach observation blog without mentioning the fat issue I must point out one thing. Beaches are covered in scandalous outfits which are all entirely permissible because it is the beach. In my younger years and when I feel particularly daring, I find this delightful and slip into my ‘itsy bitsy’ with a bit of pride and admiration. However, there are also times when I am very aware that I simply cannot pull that off. Just because wearing almost nothing is acceptable at the beach does not mean it is your best look. Ladies (and guys sometimes) we know what we look like. If we have the extra pounds, we know how to still wear something flattering without showing what we would rather people didn’t see. So, why do we not do this at the beach? Why is it that at the beach we throw our arms in the air and say, “I’m fat and I don’t care who sees it”? This is just not a good policy and I don’t recommend it. I would be very thankful and pleased with women in general if we dressed according to what we know rather than what would be okay because we can ‘do whatever we want’. People watching at the beach, oh what fun.
Third, I know I only said two but I have a third. Little kids at the beach are adorable. I miss being completely fascinated by the waves and watching parents play with their kids just makes me grateful for all the things I have stopped taking the time to see.
